What they say
What they mean

The lounge has been painted

Just waiting for your touch
As far as the interior is concerned, this is a no-hoper

Centrally situated/convenient
The main road and the station are 5 metres from your bedroom

Tatty and there’s no en-suite bathroom or off-street parking

Big family bathroom
No en-suite bathroom

It’s so small you’ll be in trouble if you pick up any weight

The kitchen is part of the lounge

Happy street
See if you can get any sleep with these neighbours

Ideal student accommodation
Tatty, but lots of bedrooms. You can pack them in!

It has no cracks, but hell, it’s ugly

Double storey

Priced right
This seller is desperate and has dropped the price twice already

Outside room/granny flat
We painted the domestic quarters

Will sell quickly/today
I am holding both thumbs – I haven’t sold a house in 3 months

All the space you need
Rabbit warren. There are inter-leading bedrooms

No built-in cupboards and there’s an open sewerage drain/mould

Lush garden
More than three bushes/trees

Don’t judge a book by its cover
It’s so ugly on the outside it made me weep

Built in the 1970s. There’s slasto cladding on the chimney

Outside entertainment area
Stoep and a braai

Lock-up- and- go
No garden at all

You sure wouldn’t want to live in it yourself

It costs more than R4million

Sought after
It’s 20% more expensive than the surrounding properties

There are burglar bars – well on the front windows anyway

Starter home
It’s really, really small

Within walking distance of
If you have enough time, anything is within walking distance

Low maintenance

Partial sea view
If you stand on a chair and look through a pair of binoculars

Open plan
Built after 1980

Designer kitchen
We added R40 000 onto the price

Great tenant
He doesn’t want to move – ever

Fairytale garden
Overgrown, but can be saved

Peace and quiet
It’s so isolated you’re bound to get a bit jumpy

No garage

Good flow
The previous owner knocked all the walls out downstairs

Tucked away
The plot isn’t level

All the windows need to be redone and the electrics are lethal

Renovator’s dream
This place is a bottomless pit

We found this on the Health 24 website and couldn’t resist sharing it with you. For the full article please go to http://www.health24.com/news/Columnists/1-4618-4619,63673.asp