What they say
What they mean
Renovated
The lounge has been painted
Just waiting for your touch
As far as the interior is concerned, this is a no-hoper
Centrally situated/convenient
The main road and the station are 5 metres from your bedroom
Character-filled
Tatty and there’s no en-suite bathroom or off-street parking
Big family bathroom
No en-suite bathroom
Modern
It’s so small you’ll be in trouble if you pick up any weight
Stylish
The kitchen is part of the lounge
Happy street
See if you can get any sleep with these neighbours
Ideal student accommodation
Tatty, but lots of bedrooms. You can pack them in!
Solid
It has no cracks, but hell, it’s ugly
Majestic
Double storey
Priced right
This seller is desperate and has dropped the price twice already
Outside room/granny flat
We painted the domestic quarters
Will sell quickly/today
I am holding both thumbs – I haven’t sold a house in 3 months
All the space you need
Rabbit warren. There are inter-leading bedrooms
Quaint/charming
No built-in cupboards and there’s an open sewerage drain/mould
Lush garden
More than three bushes/trees
Don’t judge a book by its cover
It’s so ugly on the outside it made me weep
Comfortable
Built in the 1970s. There’s slasto cladding on the chimney
Outside entertainment area
Stoep and a braai
Lock-up- and- go
No garden at all
Investment
You sure wouldn’t want to live in it yourself
Villa
It costs more than R4million
Sought after
It’s 20% more expensive than the surrounding properties
Security
There are burglar bars – well on the front windows anyway
Starter home
It’s really, really small
Within walking distance of
If you have enough time, anything is within walking distance
Low maintenance
Facebrick
Partial sea view
If you stand on a chair and look through a pair of binoculars
Open plan
Built after 1980
Designer kitchen
We added R40 000 onto the price
Great tenant
He doesn’t want to move – ever
Fairytale garden
Overgrown, but can be saved
Peace and quiet
It’s so isolated you’re bound to get a bit jumpy
Carport
No garage
Good flow
The previous owner knocked all the walls out downstairs
Tucked away
The plot isn’t level
Rustic
All the windows need to be redone and the electrics are lethal
Renovator’s dream
This place is a bottomless pit
We found this on the Health 24 website and couldn’t resist sharing it with you. For the full article please go to http://www.health24.com/news/Columnists/1-4618-4619,63673.asp